Im over Christmas.
Few weeks ago when we decorated I was excited. Now im just over it. I actually have yet to buy most of the presents for Anthony and Im already over it lol. Go figure. Im ready to have the apt back in order and not cluttered with stuff. Ehhh just gotta make it a few more days.
Ive been highly irritated the past few days when ever someone says a word to me. Mainly its the ones who comment on stuff about my child. Sure I complain about the sleeping situation alot but its my life what else am I gonna complain about. But if I hear one more person say "oh get used to it welcome to motherhood thats the life with a child" Dude I know....But it sucks!! so im gonna complain about it! If you dont care then flippen go away.
People on facebook. Omg its become just like myspace. Im only facebook friends with you! Doesnt mean I wanna all friendly friendly with you in real life. In fact I more or less cant stand you. You are completly fake to me and backstabbed me and I will never forget it! Send me a xmas card go ahead! Doesnt mean I will read it let alone send you one back! Ugh retardeddddd
Im ready to really just tell every person in this world what I really think of them. Maybe then I wouldnt feel so weighed down with stupid shit. But most people would probably wanna kill me hahaha...I guess Ill keep my thoughts to myself lol.
I need to burp. Im gassy...oyi
Im ready for winter to be over. This cold windy shit is not working for me. Poor child is stuck indoors all day long cause its just too freaking cold and windy for him to be outside. Maybe after xmas it will be lil better cause he will have all new big toys to play with. I can only hope. I know thats probably the majority of the sleeping issue with him. We just dont have a busy enough life to have him out and about staying busy. Were such boring folk. Ahh well such is life. We deal we get thru until a new day
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Its cold....
Yeah i dont think we have gotten over freezing in the past 2 weeks. As much as i thought i was prepared for this I dont think I am. I ventured out today. And those who know me know I DONT DRIVE IN SNOW! Wayy too manyn bad experiences. I made it to the store and back in one piece. I just would rather sit at home next to fire and enjoy it rather then be out on the roads with all the crazy people.
As much as I want to sit indoors during the snow storms it certainly doesnt sit well with the child. Poor guy wants to be outside breathing fresh air but when its 6 degrees outside its just too cold for him. So weve been having to find more things to occupy our time indoors. Him not getting out and getting energy out isnt helping with the sleeping issues thats for sure. Since we moved him to the toddler bed I believe we've jumped over the "getting to sleep" issue. Now were working on the STAYING asleep hurdle. Once in a blue moon we get an all nighter. Two out of the three past nights we have been successful till about 7am....If we could stretch it just a tad longer i would be soooo happy. I finally tried out putting him to sleep EARLIER then normal and it seems to help. I never tried it before cause it didnt make sense to me .....put the child to be earlier in order for him to sleep longer....yeaaahhhh.
My childs growing so much lately. Ive finally gotten excited about Christmas just cause this year hes really gonna understand it all. The waking up opening his stocking, presents etc. Picking out presents is harder though. Last year it was oh colorful and lights up hell love it. Now its hmmm whats gonna survive a toddler?
Ive been just sitting watching my child lately. Specially when he starts going through a babbling phase and just wonder whats going through his head.
Ut oh must cut short someones up....
As much as I want to sit indoors during the snow storms it certainly doesnt sit well with the child. Poor guy wants to be outside breathing fresh air but when its 6 degrees outside its just too cold for him. So weve been having to find more things to occupy our time indoors. Him not getting out and getting energy out isnt helping with the sleeping issues thats for sure. Since we moved him to the toddler bed I believe we've jumped over the "getting to sleep" issue. Now were working on the STAYING asleep hurdle. Once in a blue moon we get an all nighter. Two out of the three past nights we have been successful till about 7am....If we could stretch it just a tad longer i would be soooo happy. I finally tried out putting him to sleep EARLIER then normal and it seems to help. I never tried it before cause it didnt make sense to me .....put the child to be earlier in order for him to sleep longer....yeaaahhhh.
My childs growing so much lately. Ive finally gotten excited about Christmas just cause this year hes really gonna understand it all. The waking up opening his stocking, presents etc. Picking out presents is harder though. Last year it was oh colorful and lights up hell love it. Now its hmmm whats gonna survive a toddler?
Ive been just sitting watching my child lately. Specially when he starts going through a babbling phase and just wonder whats going through his head.
Ut oh must cut short someones up....
Monday, October 19, 2009
Not my most favorite day of the year
9 years.....
Yup thats how much time has passed
9 years since my life was ripped up from under me
At times it feels like longer
At times it doesnt even seem close
Many things have passed
Milestones have been reached
Not one day I dont think of it
Just the one day it sits out front
I like to think Ive pulled myself together
grown up
made my own family
With a loving husband
and wonderful child
but nothing feels the gap in my heart
dont think anything ever will
but its ok
I dont want anything to fill that area
Its special to me
When ever i feel the emptiness come on too strong
I remember my angel
that follows me where ever i go
watches over what ever i do
keeps me safe
Picks me up when it becomes too much
I hope ive made you proud
Even though you cant be here
I carry on
Anthony will always know who his grandma is
I miss you Mom
Love you always
Yup thats how much time has passed
9 years since my life was ripped up from under me
At times it feels like longer
At times it doesnt even seem close
Many things have passed
Milestones have been reached
Not one day I dont think of it
Just the one day it sits out front
I like to think Ive pulled myself together
grown up
made my own family
With a loving husband
and wonderful child
but nothing feels the gap in my heart
dont think anything ever will
but its ok
I dont want anything to fill that area
Its special to me
When ever i feel the emptiness come on too strong
I remember my angel
that follows me where ever i go
watches over what ever i do
keeps me safe
Picks me up when it becomes too much
I hope ive made you proud
Even though you cant be here
I carry on
Anthony will always know who his grandma is
I miss you Mom
Love you always
Friday, October 16, 2009
Headache....
Ugh today was long.
Ant's been sleeping through the night fine but getting to actually fall asleep or nap is a serious struggle.
Last night we laid down to go to bed at 8:00...I believe i finally was able to put him in his bed at 9:45
Today we sat down for nap time at 12:25 he was asleep at 12:30.
Should have known something was wrong right then.
He was back awake at 12:47
Sat till about 2:22 trying to put him back to sleep NOPE not happening
Got through the day...it took foreverrrrrr
sat down for bed time at about 820.....he was out at 8:35
Will hopefully be out till at least 730am
The other struggle we've been going through is eating....
He starts giving me all his signals that he's hungry ie.mamama running in the kitchen trying to pull open fridge and cupboards
So I go make him his meal, get it on the tray, get him in his chair and let him go
He will eat a handful of bites.......then.....
he starts chucking food fussin and some more mamamama
so i take off his tray and he doesnt want down
Put it back he eats a few more bites then it repeats
Lets just say the carpet is already spotted in this apt
oh well.. its life
Guess for those to be my only real complaints i should be thankful
I was completly frustrated by the end of my day but then i was in our bedroom picking up some stuff heard daddy come home looked over just to see ant's face completly light up and he starts to squeal. It makes me kinda like him after all....
Ant's been sleeping through the night fine but getting to actually fall asleep or nap is a serious struggle.
Last night we laid down to go to bed at 8:00...I believe i finally was able to put him in his bed at 9:45
Today we sat down for nap time at 12:25 he was asleep at 12:30.
Should have known something was wrong right then.
He was back awake at 12:47
Sat till about 2:22 trying to put him back to sleep NOPE not happening
Got through the day...it took foreverrrrrr
sat down for bed time at about 820.....he was out at 8:35
Will hopefully be out till at least 730am
The other struggle we've been going through is eating....
He starts giving me all his signals that he's hungry ie.mamama running in the kitchen trying to pull open fridge and cupboards
So I go make him his meal, get it on the tray, get him in his chair and let him go
He will eat a handful of bites.......then.....
he starts chucking food fussin and some more mamamama
so i take off his tray and he doesnt want down
Put it back he eats a few more bites then it repeats
Lets just say the carpet is already spotted in this apt
oh well.. its life
Guess for those to be my only real complaints i should be thankful
I was completly frustrated by the end of my day but then i was in our bedroom picking up some stuff heard daddy come home looked over just to see ant's face completly light up and he starts to squeal. It makes me kinda like him after all....
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Need more hours in a day
Yup I now realize why adults used to say that when I was a child.
Cause as I sit here now at 9:15pm
my childs asleep
and i think of all the things i wanna do before I fall asleep
All those things that take way to long with a child hangin off your leg
Loads of Laundry
Kitchen cleaned
clean sheets back on the bed
long hot shower
do some sewing for christmas presents
get some scrapbooking accomplished of new pics i just got printed
An lots of other things
What do i do?
Sit here and watch tivo.
What can I say I cant resist me some vampire diaries
..(BTW shes totally realizing silent hottie is a vamp)
Ugh Big fat ugh....
My days are slow repetitious days....nothing new nothing accomplished
Oh well
I swear I hit 25 and all the lil things that were wrong with my body
have decided to BLOW UP
Had what I figure was a strained muscle in my side
For the better part of the week
Couldn't sit
stand
lay down
bend over
for too long
IT was painful
Seems to have disappeared
Course now that I speak of it
Its gonna return
Now
I got up from sitting yesterday
almost fell
myleft knee felt like it was gonna just pop out on me
Ugh something new
Love the people who say go to the doctor
People telling me I probably had this
that
or
this
Sorry no insurance or money for an ER visit...
Sad but true
Unless im bleeding or bones popping out
we take an ibuprofen
Call it a night
At least until Mikes worked enough his insurance kicks in
The other issue
me working
I would absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE
to get out of the house on a daily basis
But I have to look at it realisticly
What job am I gonna get
With the minimal experience on my resume
That will give me hours between 7am-6pm
Mon thru fri
Not weekends since daycares dont do weekends and we both cant work on the ends
That will pay for my child to go to day care
AND bring home money in the end
Yeah theres not lot of choice there
That and the driving issue
I dont do well in snow
(too many issues with OTHER drivers in the snow have made me paranoid)
My last job....didnt have to go to work when it snowed lol
Made things soo much easier
Dont think I can find a job with those requirements
Ah well its taken me 30 minutes to write a whole bunch of nonsense
Oh well if your here you should be used to it
If not Hope you come back to visit agian
Maybe be popping in time to time with random thoughts here or there
Never anything exciting
Cause that just doesnt happen in my mundane life
Clarification:
Before I get the people with the thoughts about my thoughts
I love my life...I would not give it up for anything in the world
I would do anything for my boys
But my life can become very boring most days
Cause as I sit here now at 9:15pm
my childs asleep
and i think of all the things i wanna do before I fall asleep
All those things that take way to long with a child hangin off your leg
Loads of Laundry
Kitchen cleaned
clean sheets back on the bed
long hot shower
do some sewing for christmas presents
get some scrapbooking accomplished of new pics i just got printed
An lots of other things
What do i do?
Sit here and watch tivo.
What can I say I cant resist me some vampire diaries
..(BTW shes totally realizing silent hottie is a vamp)
Ugh Big fat ugh....
My days are slow repetitious days....nothing new nothing accomplished
Oh well
I swear I hit 25 and all the lil things that were wrong with my body
have decided to BLOW UP
Had what I figure was a strained muscle in my side
For the better part of the week
Couldn't sit
stand
lay down
bend over
for too long
IT was painful
Seems to have disappeared
Course now that I speak of it
Its gonna return
Now
I got up from sitting yesterday
almost fell
myleft knee felt like it was gonna just pop out on me
Ugh something new
Love the people who say go to the doctor
People telling me I probably had this
that
or
this
Sorry no insurance or money for an ER visit...
Sad but true
Unless im bleeding or bones popping out
we take an ibuprofen
Call it a night
At least until Mikes worked enough his insurance kicks in
The other issue
me working
I would absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE
to get out of the house on a daily basis
But I have to look at it realisticly
What job am I gonna get
With the minimal experience on my resume
That will give me hours between 7am-6pm
Mon thru fri
Not weekends since daycares dont do weekends and we both cant work on the ends
That will pay for my child to go to day care
AND bring home money in the end
Yeah theres not lot of choice there
That and the driving issue
I dont do well in snow
(too many issues with OTHER drivers in the snow have made me paranoid)
My last job....didnt have to go to work when it snowed lol
Made things soo much easier
Dont think I can find a job with those requirements
Ah well its taken me 30 minutes to write a whole bunch of nonsense
Oh well if your here you should be used to it
If not Hope you come back to visit agian
Maybe be popping in time to time with random thoughts here or there
Never anything exciting
Cause that just doesnt happen in my mundane life
Clarification:
Before I get the people with the thoughts about my thoughts
I love my life...I would not give it up for anything in the world
I would do anything for my boys
But my life can become very boring most days
Been too Long
Yeah stumbled back upon this looking for another site. Realized its been far too long since Ive updated it. Still amazes me that so much time has gone by so quickly.If you know me you know whats happened in the past year and a half so I wont bother updating then. Hopefully be able to update more often from here on out. All depends on how much time the child gives me to sit at the computer and not fuss at me. Until next time.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Hope 2008 isn't as hectic....
So apparently it took me 5 months and a new year to be able to have things to blog about. And boy do I now....So tighten up the seat belts this will probably be a bumpy ride....
So we found out in November our lil bubba is a lil papi. And he was full and proud of himself so we had no problem finding out. Which was good because Big Daddy deployed in the beginning of Dec for the third time in the past five years. So of course our Christmas was celebrated on Thanksgiving once agian this year. Which isn't too bad but it just makes me want to skip the entire month of December since the only thing any one ever looks forward to for December is celebrating Christmas. So we got through most of dec without a whole lot happening....until the end of course.....
My sis went back to her fiance's house for Christmas so I took on the responsibility of watching her zoo on top of mine.....5 dogs and 4 cats a turtle and a whole lotta fishys lol....Oh yeah and one of those dogs is ready to pop out some pups anyday now so it was a hectic week.
The day they left I decided to make a trip to the ER after not feelin lil man move for almost 48 hours and I was beginning to cramp very hard. After them strappin me up to the machines find out everything is just fine on him and hes just being a stubborn lil guy. His heartrate was just fine and they could measure his movements and everything looked just fine....They figure he was just hangin out front for so long I was used to feelin every twitch he had and now hes had to move back a bit so I just dont feel it like I did but to me that registers as Im not feelin him as often as I was even though he is in there movin all around just fine.
So sissy and family got home on the 28th which was also mine and big daddy's anniversary.....5 years ago we said we would tolerate each other for the rest of our lives...(I think we've done pretty darn well so far if I say so myself) So after takin a few days off from going back and forth to my sisters I went up on sunday to do some work on some used dressers we got for Bubba's room. I was there all day and after dinner it was dark and I realized it was startin to flurry a bit so should probably head home. I walked outside to start the car since its about 20 below here and didnt wanna drive home in a freezing car. Walked back in the house to grab the pups and had made it up the stairs to kiss the kids bye and heard my car rev and looked out the window just in time to see the back of my car going down the street. I was in shock. Someone had literally taken my car right out from under my nose. Yes the keys were in it but when most people look at my sisters neighborhood she's in the "Good" neighborhood.
So we called the police and they came and took our statement and even come to find out its illegal to leave your car running unoccupied and yes I know its probably just a stupid thing to do but I didnt know they could actually TICKET you for it. I realized the car only had about a quarter tank of gas so was just hopin i had a poor person take it who was gonna be able to go far and have to just abandon it on the side of the road somewhere.
So stayed at my sisters that night since they had my address in the vehicle and keys to my house but first had to come down and get Big Daddy's truck since they also had the spare key to it and I really didnt need BOTH our vehicles being stolen....Spent yesterday changin locks on the house and contacting the insurance company etc. Then this mornin I wake up and I was trying to find the number to our finance company since I forgot I needed to inform them also and as I'm searching through paperwork my phones ringing off the hook. Some random number and I dont pick them up usually but figured it might be the insurance adjuster....So i pick up and hear
"Is this Trisha?"
"Who's this"
"Did you have your car stolen?"
I'm confused and lost at this point
"Yes who is this?"
"My ex is the one who took your car I have your keys and I know where the car is at I wasnt the one involved in taking it so I dont wanna get in trouble but I wanna do the right thing and make sure you get your car back"
"Is it in one piece? "
"Yes"
"Ok where is it thats all i wanna know"
So we went over where to meet at to exchange the keys and get me my baby back. So I jump in the car calling my sister tellin her whats going on and that I need someone to go with me to do this. So while I go pick up her fiance im calling the police to inform them of the situation and we head over to where I was told the cars at. Two streets down from her house! For 48 hours my car was about a mile or two away! We met up with the chick she handed me my keys explained to me how to came about them. And we waited for the cops ....and we waited....and we waited....yeah over an hour later and they finally come....They open the car and find everything under the sun inside....Including lots of beer cans, illegal drugs and the paraphernalia to use em. They had completely tossed my car looking for anything the could get. Opened the trunk and I had two huge truck tires shoved into it. The tried to take my sub from the trunk and apparently couldnt get it. The stole the video camera I had just put in the trunk since my sister had used it for her vaca and I had just gotten it back. And a board game....The took a board game (yeah were talkin smart criminals here must have had a thing for pop culture entertainment lol) Oh and my basketballs and Volleyballs for work.
But other then all that I had my baby back and she was in one piece. There was one cd in the car that was not mine so the cop took it and told me well check the cd player to see if theres one in there and if its yours. That one was and as I was getting back out of the car I realized hmmm wonder how much gas is in the car. So start the car back up and it doesnt start....Its puttering....It finally starts and I realize its cause it is on E....I can just thank god that probably the only reason they left the car was it ran outta gas and they couldnt fill it....Thank god.....
So we take the car back to my sisters so they can help clean it out and not have any residue from god knows what since I really didnt need that gettin into my system. We get to my sisters house and the boys are sitting out front playing and my sister looks at my nephew and says what are you holding what do you have in your mouth....He hands it to her and both of our stomachs jumped into our throats. Its a syringe with the tip broken off....He informed us he went two doors down to see if the kids there could play and when the didnt he was playing in the yard on his way home and found this syringe in the yard and started playing with it...Cause of course hes 3 he has no clue what this is....He just knows it does what his bright blue and yellow tool from his play doctor kit does....He doesnt know its harmful and can hurt him. So we rush him to the ER and after sitting there for 4 hours they tell us more or less hes just fine...So needless to say he gave us a scare thats for sure.
So now I sit here hoping to lordy lordy this year starts off much better and brings alot better things then 2007 ended with. I have the birth of lil man to look forward to and thats about as far as im lookin so far....
So we found out in November our lil bubba is a lil papi. And he was full and proud of himself so we had no problem finding out. Which was good because Big Daddy deployed in the beginning of Dec for the third time in the past five years. So of course our Christmas was celebrated on Thanksgiving once agian this year. Which isn't too bad but it just makes me want to skip the entire month of December since the only thing any one ever looks forward to for December is celebrating Christmas. So we got through most of dec without a whole lot happening....until the end of course.....
My sis went back to her fiance's house for Christmas so I took on the responsibility of watching her zoo on top of mine.....5 dogs and 4 cats a turtle and a whole lotta fishys lol....Oh yeah and one of those dogs is ready to pop out some pups anyday now so it was a hectic week.
The day they left I decided to make a trip to the ER after not feelin lil man move for almost 48 hours and I was beginning to cramp very hard. After them strappin me up to the machines find out everything is just fine on him and hes just being a stubborn lil guy. His heartrate was just fine and they could measure his movements and everything looked just fine....They figure he was just hangin out front for so long I was used to feelin every twitch he had and now hes had to move back a bit so I just dont feel it like I did but to me that registers as Im not feelin him as often as I was even though he is in there movin all around just fine.
So sissy and family got home on the 28th which was also mine and big daddy's anniversary.....5 years ago we said we would tolerate each other for the rest of our lives...(I think we've done pretty darn well so far if I say so myself) So after takin a few days off from going back and forth to my sisters I went up on sunday to do some work on some used dressers we got for Bubba's room. I was there all day and after dinner it was dark and I realized it was startin to flurry a bit so should probably head home. I walked outside to start the car since its about 20 below here and didnt wanna drive home in a freezing car. Walked back in the house to grab the pups and had made it up the stairs to kiss the kids bye and heard my car rev and looked out the window just in time to see the back of my car going down the street. I was in shock. Someone had literally taken my car right out from under my nose. Yes the keys were in it but when most people look at my sisters neighborhood she's in the "Good" neighborhood.
So we called the police and they came and took our statement and even come to find out its illegal to leave your car running unoccupied and yes I know its probably just a stupid thing to do but I didnt know they could actually TICKET you for it. I realized the car only had about a quarter tank of gas so was just hopin i had a poor person take it who was gonna be able to go far and have to just abandon it on the side of the road somewhere.
So stayed at my sisters that night since they had my address in the vehicle and keys to my house but first had to come down and get Big Daddy's truck since they also had the spare key to it and I really didnt need BOTH our vehicles being stolen....Spent yesterday changin locks on the house and contacting the insurance company etc. Then this mornin I wake up and I was trying to find the number to our finance company since I forgot I needed to inform them also and as I'm searching through paperwork my phones ringing off the hook. Some random number and I dont pick them up usually but figured it might be the insurance adjuster....So i pick up and hear
"Is this Trisha?"
"Who's this"
"Did you have your car stolen?"
I'm confused and lost at this point
"Yes who is this?"
"My ex is the one who took your car I have your keys and I know where the car is at I wasnt the one involved in taking it so I dont wanna get in trouble but I wanna do the right thing and make sure you get your car back"
"Is it in one piece? "
"Yes"
"Ok where is it thats all i wanna know"
So we went over where to meet at to exchange the keys and get me my baby back. So I jump in the car calling my sister tellin her whats going on and that I need someone to go with me to do this. So while I go pick up her fiance im calling the police to inform them of the situation and we head over to where I was told the cars at. Two streets down from her house! For 48 hours my car was about a mile or two away! We met up with the chick she handed me my keys explained to me how to came about them. And we waited for the cops ....and we waited....and we waited....yeah over an hour later and they finally come....They open the car and find everything under the sun inside....Including lots of beer cans, illegal drugs and the paraphernalia to use em. They had completely tossed my car looking for anything the could get. Opened the trunk and I had two huge truck tires shoved into it. The tried to take my sub from the trunk and apparently couldnt get it. The stole the video camera I had just put in the trunk since my sister had used it for her vaca and I had just gotten it back. And a board game....The took a board game (yeah were talkin smart criminals here must have had a thing for pop culture entertainment lol) Oh and my basketballs and Volleyballs for work.
But other then all that I had my baby back and she was in one piece. There was one cd in the car that was not mine so the cop took it and told me well check the cd player to see if theres one in there and if its yours. That one was and as I was getting back out of the car I realized hmmm wonder how much gas is in the car. So start the car back up and it doesnt start....Its puttering....It finally starts and I realize its cause it is on E....I can just thank god that probably the only reason they left the car was it ran outta gas and they couldnt fill it....Thank god.....
So we take the car back to my sisters so they can help clean it out and not have any residue from god knows what since I really didnt need that gettin into my system. We get to my sisters house and the boys are sitting out front playing and my sister looks at my nephew and says what are you holding what do you have in your mouth....He hands it to her and both of our stomachs jumped into our throats. Its a syringe with the tip broken off....He informed us he went two doors down to see if the kids there could play and when the didnt he was playing in the yard on his way home and found this syringe in the yard and started playing with it...Cause of course hes 3 he has no clue what this is....He just knows it does what his bright blue and yellow tool from his play doctor kit does....He doesnt know its harmful and can hurt him. So we rush him to the ER and after sitting there for 4 hours they tell us more or less hes just fine...So needless to say he gave us a scare thats for sure.
So now I sit here hoping to lordy lordy this year starts off much better and brings alot better things then 2007 ended with. I have the birth of lil man to look forward to and thats about as far as im lookin so far....
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