Look MA!.....I've gone random!

I'm sorry I haven't called you. I've begun to realize after all this time it hurts to talk to you. You make the bad thoughts come back. You force the thoughts into my head. I think because you can't move on from the past you have to bring every one down around to your level also. And after the life I have worked so hard to make for myself I will NOT allow you to do that to me. Don't get me wrong I grieve still and reminince/remeber in my own ways and at my own time.
You build your life by surrounding yourself with fakeness....I hope that makes you happy. I have experience and know it wont but maybe you will discover that in your own time. I hope it does not take forever but when it does I hope it hurts and I hope you relize the kind of friendship you drove away.
I hope the choice you made in how to live your life leads to happiness. I really hope you didn't make the choice just because everyone around you wanted you to. I hope you can finally settle down one day and live a drama free exsistance.....
I used to hate you. I used to think you were my "competition". I thought my jealousy of you could span till the end of time. Used to think you must have had something I didnt cause everywhere I looked you just seemed to be there. Some reminder of you. But then I woke up. I woke up and realized that's high school, and I was tired of that game. It was stupid and childish. I walk around happy and I gloat ,.....yes that's right I gloat....I win....he's my prized possesion....he made the choice....and it was me....maybe I have something or could give him something you couldn't in the end....but thats what it comes down ......the end.....I have him and he makes me the happiest person on this earth.....
I miss you. From sun up to sun down. I miss you. I cry when I see the things you miss. The simple daily things that you should be here to see happen. The day you were taken off this is earth was the day I gained an angel in heaven to watch over me though. And while I love that thought and it comforts me in alot of rough times I'm greedy and wish you to be here with us in flesh instead.
I have a boogie....
Why is cats hair so annoying when they shed but to have a hairless cat means to have a ugly ass cat?
If I could make a science that a man could experience a period even once or a pregnancy I bet you I could make alot of money off of pmsing/menstrual/hormonal housewives.......
I smile when I see a man cry....is that sick? I just see it as if a man is openly crying that means hes showing his emotions which means thats a TRUE man in my mind!
I wish I was a stronger person. I know alot of people look at the military wife side of me and think I'm stronger then your average bear but I really wish I was stronger in alot of other aspects.
Did you know blogger now saves your drafts automatically?!?!?! Apparently I'm taking too long typing this and that stupid thing keeps popping up at me....
It's annoying.....
I wish I had my own personal hairdresser so I could have that celebrity perfect everyday hair.....
My house is hot as hell right now....
Im seriously contemplating jumping in the pool....its been up a week it cant be THAT cold still....
can it?
There's that lil pop up agian.....
Yup still annoying....
Ok this is long enough now....
Im out!


!@#$%^&*()

A happy picture so I can close this with a smile........